Three Soulful Strategies for Moving on when a Relationship Ends

With almost every planet now in retrograde and a powerful Full Moon approaching this coming week in Pisces, there is a prominent energy in the cosmos around endings. During a retrograde period things slow down, people or situations from the past may resurface and realizations come up around what you have grown out of, moved through or drifted away from. The combination of this coming Full Moon in Pisces, together with the Sun now in Virgo supports us in the process of energetic decluttering, illuminating what is old, outdated and ready to be shed in order to create space for new experiences and people to enter our lives. If there is a relationship that is coming to a close in your own life, here are three soulful strategies to help you process and find closure around endings.

1)    Write a gratitude letter

The ending of a relationship is, in essence, a type of death, and as such can trigger a plethora of emotions. Prior to relocating to China, I had a brief and intense relationship with a man whom I thought was “the one” and who had promised to move with me across the world. My father passed away right before my move and this person ghosted me shortly thereafter, imprinting in my unconscious the dark shadow of emotional trauma that took a while to fully process and heal. Something that helped me in releasing the pain and resentment and in shifting my mindset was writing my ex a gratitude letter. Full transparency, I also had to go through the process of releasing the anger and pain, so prior to this letter I wrote (and burned) another letter entitled “All of the reasons why you’re an A@*hole”. Journaling is a powerful way of connecting with your unconscious and processing your thoughts. By first holding space for my emotions and then shifting into the energy of gratitude, I was able to realize everything that this relationship had illuminated within me: how to stand in my power and to embrace my worth, while also revealing the deeper fear of vulnerability that I still needed to work through in relationships. I came to understand the reason for this soul contract, that this person served as the catalyst igniting me to take a chance and move across the world. Expressing gratitude for my learnings also helped me to heal and to grow as my unconscious processed what I had moved away from, the energy dynamic that I no longer desired in my life.

After writing a gratitude letter, you may also choose to burn it with the intention of releasing any energetic ties and transforming any lower vibrational energy remaining back into love.

2)    Do an offering in nature for the relationship

For anyone new to the world of offerings, this is where you take something of personal value and offer it (usually with a fixed intention) back to the earth. Offerings are often done to honor a situation or person and are a beautiful way to connect with a higher power (Source, God, your Higher Self, whatever term resonates for you), reminding us that life is a continual cycle of beginnings and endings.You can take a crystal, rose petals, tea leaves or anything (preferably natural) that connects you to this person and bury it as an offering into the earth. When we give an offering, we show reverence for the sacred nature of each relationship and align ourselves with the energy of gratitude, which naturally raises our vibration. Each time that I’ve done offerings in nature I’ve experienced a deep sense of connection and oneness, feeling the unseen support from my guides, ancestors and from the Great Mother Gaia. This has brought me comfort, peace and a deeper knowing that by releasing what I have outgrown, I’m creating space to then welcome new beginnings into my life.

3)    Celebrate the ways that you have grown and evolved through this experience

We have a natural tendency as humans to focus on what isn’t working rather than on what is. Taking time to acknowledge and celebrate our growth is an important part of the healing journey. When we are able to fully integrate the lessons we have learned and give ourselves love and praise for the ways in which we have evolved we release judgment and blame, elevating our vibration into a new frequency and creating a portal to attract different types of people and experiences into our world. Viewing each relationship as a mirror reflecting back a lesson which our soul desires to learn can help us to see the bigger picture. Asking ourselves the question “What did this person teach me and what did I teach them?” also allows us to gain greater self-awareness and understanding around our own path and purpose.

When a relationship in your life ends, taking time and space to process the emotions, to integrate the learnings and to create a ritual for closure are powerful ways to honor and find peace within the cycle of completion.

What relationship endings are you honoring over this coming Full Moon?