Navigating the In Between

I want to share a moment of raw honesty. I didn’t begin 2024 excited for a year of new possibilities, prepped with a vision board and empowering mantras already mounted on my wall. I actually spent New Year’s Eve in my pajamas, eating pizza, nursing a cold and going to bed at 10, well before any fireworks or festivities. I took some time recently to reflect on why my energy was more subdued and realized that the beginning of 2024 feels like the continuation of an ongoing introspective shedding process, one that has required me to focus my energy within rather than externally on the “doing”.

Over the past two years, navigating transition has become my new normal. Some of the defining moments have included leaving a career of teaching. Starting a business as a solopreneur. The sudden loss of my brother. Moving back to the US. Assuming a caregiving role for my 88 year old mother. Rebuilding community. Ending unhealthy relationships. Creating new relationships. Searching for my soul home. This period has felt uncomfortable and awkward, a little like being between pants sizes-you’ve shed some weight and the bigger pants no longer fit, the smaller ones aren’t quite your size yet and you find yourself with no pants to wear to the party.

So how then do we navigate the growing pains, when we can see the higher version of ourself waiting to emerge, feeling an inner nudge that something better is on the horizon, yet we have no idea of the when or the how? Perhaps we ask the universe (multiple times, just in case it didn’t hear us the first time) for a neat and succinct action plan, a guaranteed three step process to manifesting our deepest desires. Yet nothing seems to change, aside from now seeing 11:11 and 2:22 all day long. So we get frustrated by what appears to be lack of momentum, convince ourselves that the universe is out to get us, begin comparing our situation to the perceived success of others on social media and drown our sorrows in Netflix and half-off Christmas chocolate.

Perhaps the most challenging part of the in between period is placing our trust in an outcome that we can’t yet see. Society teaches us that validation comes when we accomplish the “thing”, yet this perpetuates an endless cycle of discontent. We think that we will be happy once we have the perfect job, the romantic partner, the fancy house, but when we finally acquire the very goal we had set our sights upon, our problems don’t seem to magically go away. So we continually place our standard of happiness upon achieving the next goal (the promotion at the job, the romantic partner proposing) and find ourselves in a state of constantly dangling the carrot: “I will be happy when…”.

What if, instead of focusing on the “when”, we focused on finding joy in the now? On creating moments of happiness each day that take our breath away? On finding gratitude in the simple pleasures of life: sipping a cup of tea in the morning, smiling at a stranger, cuddling with our cat? How could a simple practice of intentional gratitude reframe the way that we view life, giving us a different motivation and reason for beginning each day? How would it change our vision of the most challenging situations, allowing us to find a light in the depth of even the most profound darkness?

As we journey into 2024, I invite you to consider how you are navigating the in between. What transitions you are moving through and how you can find joy, gratitude and purpose through the messy parts? How are you allowing yourself to trust in the unknown, surrender to the process and be reborn through the metamorphosis of change?