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THE ENERGY OF DEATH AND REBIRTH

sarahsoulboss

Updated: Oct 28, 2024

Learning to surrender into the energy of change


My daily morning routine for the past 51 days has begun with a Covid test.


I get up, brush my teeth, stick a q-tip up my nose and then post the result in our community group chat. A few hours later, people in hazmat suits then come by to do the routine throat swap.


 At one point, everyone in my building except for me tested positive for Covid and was taken to “Covid camp”, essentially a big center with a whole lot of beds. Perhaps not surprising as the neighbors share a communal kitchen, but somewhat terrifying for me as a foreigner, as I then became what China deemed a “second degree contact” and at risk of also being taken away. What ensued was a gate barring entrance to my building for the past two weeks (definitely a fire hazard), confusion as to when to come down for testing (the new method turned into shouting my name outside my window) and a man in a hazmat suit sleeping outside my door.


I’ve gone through a wave of emotions over the past two months. Fear, resistance, severe anxiety and finally acceptance that I have absolutely no control over my external environment.


My recent experiences have been an extension of the tsunami that this year has brought in. My brother unexpectedly passing away, my mother navigating health challenges, a strict lockdown that has last almost two months, things falling away as I grow and change, the realization that China is no longer home, the decision to temporarily move my life and two cats back to the US as I figure out the next chapter of my life. And in the midst of it all, navigating the creation of my online healing business.


 I recently looked at my numerology and realized that this is a 9 year for me, a year of completion and endings. A year of release, of simplifying and allowing things to die. Allowing the version of myself that is no longer aligned with my soul’s purpose to fall away. It has not been easy, but I have learned to embrace death, to embrace fear, to embrace the process of letting go. I have learned to say goodbye. Goodbye to people that I love. Goodbye to situations that are no longer aligned with my soul’s purpose. Goodbye to a life of security, of comfort, of predictability. I’ve learned to lean into the discomfort as it has become my constant and steady companion over the past two months.


 Initiations are often far from pleasant. Change can be uncomfortable. However, in the midst of uncertainty is also when the magic happens. Sometimes, your soul will push you way outside of your comfort zone, not to punish you, but because it knows what you ultimately need to experience in order to grow, to transform, to evolve.

 

I have come to realize through this experience that within the void of death, there is also beauty. Beauty in allowing yourself to let go, to release control, to accept that you may have no idea where you are going or how to get there. When you connect with your soul and ask for divine guidance, for the candle that will illuminate a path through the shadow; this is the moment that the universe really speaks to you. This is the time that the signs become clear. And when you are able to surrender and trust that you will make it through, this is when the universe sends you the love and support that you need to help navigate the storm. As you follow the signs that gradually lead to the path your soul has so cleverly laid out for you, following without judgement, but with curiosity and awareness, THIS is when the magic happens.

 

As you surrender, as you die, you create space for a beautiful new version of yourself to rise and take form. Through the ashes comes the birth of the phoenix, and you rise again.  


 What have you allowed to fall away in your own soul’s journey this year?


Sarah Boss

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