Full Moon in Capricorn: Breakdowns and Breakthroughs

There has been an intensity of energy in the cosmos recently as we move towards the second full moon in Capricorn occurring on July 21st. We are coming to the end of Cancer season, a period that directed our attention towards our inner world, home life and family. As a water sign ruled by the moon and associated with the archetype of the mother, Cancer connects us to our deepest emotions, invoking nostalgic memories of the past. We are invited to contemplate how we both give and receive nurturing, what we need on a deeper level to feel safe and secure. The Full Moon in Capricorn illuminates our responsibilities and commitments, showing us what is out of balance, where we may be overly invested in others or taking on energy that is not ours to bear. This moon serves as a portal into significant and inevitable change. There is a chapter ending, something that must come to completion in order for us to move forward in our soul’s evolution and growth.

I have felt this energy deeply on a personal level. Similar to a tornado, the winds of change recently came rampaging in to uproot everything within my home life. A few weeks ago, my 88 year old mother had a fall. She has had a few falls over the past few months, but this one was different. For the first time, I could not help her up by myself and she could not stand on her own. Etched deep in my memory was the ER visit that followed her accident. We arrived to the hospital around 5:30 AM in an ambulance. At that time my mother was experiencing extreme memory loss; she could not say her name, my name or the names of basic objects such as a pen. Around six hours later, while waiting for my mother to be formally admitted to the hospital, one of the rotating nurses came into the waiting area. He took a look at me, my clothing disheveled, now wrapped up in four hospital blankets in an attempt to keep warm under the frigid air conditioning and asked with compassion in his voice if there was anything that I needed. Feelings of overwhelm, fatigue and the trauma from seeing my mother so disconnected bubbled over and I began to cry. The nurse gave me a hug and told me to go home for a few hours to rest and feed my cats (my concern for their care had added onto my pile of angst), assuring me that my mother would be in good hands during my absence. It seemed like such a simple gesture, yet this nurse gave me permission to do something that is not always intuitive when navigating the role of a caregiver: to put myself first. This event was a catalyst, showing me that I could not continue in this way, on the edge of emotional and physical burnout.

Sometimes we have to experience a breakdown in order to have a breakthrough. When external circumstances pushed me to my breaking point, I was forced to do the very thing I have struggled with my entire life: ask for help. When I did, the universe responded (as it often does when we finally release control) with many blessings. My mother had excellent care while she was at the hospital, giving me peace of mind and allowing me time to recharge my own energy. My cousins checked in daily, offering me a level of support and comfort that I’d never experienced with my own immediate family; that in itself was incredibly healing. I am setting my mother up with her own home health aide to assist with daily care when she is able to return home, relieving me of having to navigate everything solo. This experience also brought to cumulation a deep karmic lesson: it is safe to release control of the things in my life that are not actually my responsibility.  

Over the coming full moon, I invite you to reflect upon how and where you are focusing your energy. Is there something out of balance in your life that the universe is asking (or perhaps forcing) you to confront? How are you honoring your own needs while also navigating external responsibilities?